Naruto ch 19

I wrote this chapter while at work today, or at least parts of it. And I kept getting looks from people as I would break down into giggles as I built up some of the scenes inside this chapter. Of course the scenes won’t be expanded on until next chapter in the playbacks, but I will be willing to hang a no drink while reading warning on this chapter.

 

 

Chapter 19

 

 

Ah another quiet day the Third contemplated from the balcony of the Hokage tower, the sun was rising and the streets were quiet, the perfect time of the day…his smile froze as he saw Anbu rushing the west gate from all over the village. Dropping his head with a sigh he headed back to his desk and his viewing globe, putting it on top of his desk his eyes widened after tuning it to the western gate and seeing another one of Naruto's dragon warriors at the gate, this one was wearing dark green. Rubbing the side of his head he looked at the picture of the fourth up on the wall, “Minato I swear if you weren’t already dead…”

 

Kiba stopped moving as he spotted the sun start to rise, volunteering for last guard duty had been a spot of genius on his part. Or that was what he as telling himself as he went over to a tree and joined Akamaru who was lifting his leg for his morning ritual. Cracking his neck he went back to camp and quickly woke everyone up as he passed around some of the smoke jerked meat before handing the bundles of smoked and dried leftovers so his teammates could seal the leftovers in their scrolls.

Finishing his breakfast quickly Shino walked to the edge of the clearing intent on relieving himself. Finished and fastening his pants back up he spotted some movement out of the corner of his eye and froze in awe, shivering in anticipation of what he was witnessing.

Sasuke following the same path Shino used so he too could go to the bathroom before they set off was on his way back when he saw Shino frozen, his body was doing something strange. Moving closer he slowed down when he saw several hundred of very strange long nosed bugs coming out of their cocoon’s, looking closer at Shino he backed up, eyes wide in shock. No…tell me he is not…he is,” shaking his head Sasuke backed away slowly so he could give Shino some privacy, the last time he had seen someone’s body doing something like that was just after a serious session where someone had helped him out by rubbing a certain part of his body to the most heavenly pleasure. Shaking his head he slowly went back to camp, who would have thought the quiet logical boy was so kinky.

Ready to go and still no Shino, Sasuke got an evil grin on his face, “Hey Kiba can you go and get Shino so we can leave.”

Looking up from where he was playing with his pup Kiba grinned, “Sure thing, knowing Shino he probably spotted some new interesting bug and got sidetracked.

Shaking with pent up laughter Sasuke watched Kiba bounce into the forest, you have no idea Kiba, you really don’t. Giggling at the shrieking sound coming from behind them Sasuke waited until his two teammates returned, glancing down at Shino to see if he was going to need to change his pants. Chuckling at the sour look being directed at Kiba he shook his head, “Come one let’s head out.

 

Waiting patiently the Third lit his morning pipe as the Hokage tower came to life for the morning assignments, standing up he bowed his head slightly as his Anbu escorted their visitor into his office, “Good morning Dragon-sama, how can Kohona help you today.” And please don’t let it be as nerve wracking as last time one of your comrades was dispatched to my village.

Nodding Kaitsu held out a small package, “Greetings Hokage-san, I am known as the Forest Realm Dragon, and Uzumaki-sama has asked that I deliver this tape for you to watch, unfortunately I will have to return with it after you have viewed it. He also bade me to answer any questions that come up form what you might see and hear from this tape,” pausing to watch the small frown appear on the Hokage’s face he smiled and knew that his mask was following suit and it would look sinister. “I am also to pass along the message that Uzumaki-sama thanks you for considering his people for your upcoming Chuunin exams, and he will most likely send one or two teams to compete.”

Sitting down the Third relaxed before nodding with a smile, “I see, please tell Naruto-sama that I am happy that he will be sending some of his Shinobi to our exams, I will look forward to seeing just what his Genin’s can do against ours.” Hiding the fact the feral grin that crossed the dragons face left him very uncomfortable the Third stood up and motioned for his guest to follow, “There is a proper machine in eh council chamber we may use, this way please.”

Ignoring a few of the clan heads that had rushed to the council chambers when they heard that another one of the Dragon Warriors had stopped to talk to Hokage-sama Kaitsu palmed the original tape for the second one he had been given to play if the Third was not alone. Placing it into the machine he started it before stepping to one side.

 

An image of Naruto popped up on the screen and it waved, “Hey old man…” chuckling as the background around Naruto came into focus everyone in the chamber could see Naruto sitting behind a large stone desk with Kakashi and Kurenai off to one side.

“Seriously now Sandaime Hokage, greetings from Uzumaki of Whirlpool,” Naruto nodded as he sat back in the chair. “By now you must have realized that the Dragons of the Realms can get to most places in the elemental nations in hours if not minutes.”

 

“That is true I left Uzumaki-sama’s office forty minutes ago,’ Kaitsu nodded from next to the television.

 

“I first want to thank you for allowing Whirlpool to join this year’s Chuunin exam being hosted in Konoha,” Naruto smiled and waited a moment, “Our own Chuunin exam started yesterday and there might be a few of our Genin teams that will be disqualified due to injury, so I thank you for giving them a second chance by attending yours. “

 

They were amazed when the picture widened and they could see the vast city beyond the windows behind Naruto, several of the clan leaders looked amongst themselves and nodded, they had made the right decision for their clans.

 

“Now I probably should get to the point as I have more paper work than normal to get out of the way this morning,” Naruto pointed to the four very thin stacks of papers on the corner of his desk.

 

The Third narrowed his eyes as he studied the slim stacks and almost let the groan that bubbled up escape his lips, Naruto was both lord and Hokage, not only that but his city was almost three times the size of Konoha and that was what he considered paperwork.

 

“The reason for a video instead of a message is for the simple reason of having my proctors record the first phase of our Chuunin exam so you can see the quality and thoroughness of the test.” Naruto grinned from behind his desk, “And there is a very good reason, not the one some of you might think. I have allowed Team eight and Sasuke to enter this year’s Chuunin exams in whirlpool and if they pass I would like you to honor their achievement and promotion, and I know the only way this can happen is if you can see with your own eyes the quality of our test and for you to see how well your Genin’s do in the test.”

“The first exam had three phases; the first was to test their intelligence and problem solving capability by decoding a message coded in a riddle. The second phase then had the team take that information and use it in a real time scenario to gather and return with information from a enemy base.” Naruto smiled widely, “in this case the enemy they had to uncover was the kingpin of a local bandit ring and they had to spy on his meeting to find out the next target without getting caught.”

Crossing his hands on top of his desk Naruto looked eager, “The third phase was designed as a war time scenario, the teams were split up and paired into three man teams with people that have never worked with each other before and given a mission not infiltrate and retrieve the information on a scroll in the enemy commanders tent.” Chuckling Naruto tilted his head at Kakashi, “I’ve been told the testing area set up for ht third phase of the first exam would be equivalent to your training ground forty four, the forest of death.”

“The purpose of the first test was to let the hopefuls showcase their information gathering abilities in a real life test, along with their intelligence and teamwork.” Naruto leaned back in his chair, “The first exam took place over three hours. All of your teams passed well within and near the top of the range.” Pausing to give the rooms occupants time to mutter amongst themselves Naruto sat there with a grin his face.

After several minutes Naruto finished up, “Right now they are eighteen hours into the four day second exam. They are to showcase their survival skills by being thrown into our Wilds with limited and unfair resources and must travel from one side to the pickup point. This should showcase their tenacity and several other skills. When that section of the test is done I shall send you another video with highlights of your Genin over the four days period. Of course I’ll also let you know if they have passed that section.”

 

Kaitsu paused the tape before looking at the assembled group before addressing the Hokage, “The rest of the tape would be highlights of your Genin showcasing their skills. Do you have any questions before we move on to that portion?”

Surprised and secretly please the third glanced over at the assembled clan heads and noticed several interesting expressions, chiefly the confused and hilarious expression on Hyuuga Hiashi’s face. ‘I will reserve judgment for now, but if your test is adequate and our Genin prove skillful enough I will honor their promotions as if they had traveled to another village to take the test.”

 

“AHHHHH,” Kiba jumped back as threw another Kunai at the attacking animal. Ducking the blast of fire coming from another one of the animals he scooped up Akamaru and took to the trees along with his team. Dropping to the wide branch and panting heavily he looked over at his singed teammates, “What…What, are those things?”

“I don’t believe it,” Sasuke looked down in disbelief, “Their climbing the trees. How in all that is holy can something that big climb a tree.”

Sweating slightly Shino looked down before quickly grabbing a panting Hinata and leaping to the next tree, “Very…very…”

“Big ass ants,” Sasuke shook his head before helping Kiba up, “We need to be elsewhere.”

Looking skyward before he leapt to the next tree Kiba growled out, ‘Naruto I’m so going to punch your lights out when I see you.”

 

Chuckling Naruto sat back as Aki waved as he rushed off to the Academy for classes after giving him  a hug, watching the boy run down the street he looked over at Haku with a grin on his face, “We get some practice before our own kids…” stopping Naruto sat up and looked around.

“Is something the matter Naruto-kun,” Haku slid his hand down the side of the couch and into the hidden kunai pouch just in case.

“I’m not sure,” Naruto looked around before shaking his head, “It’s nothing, all of a sudden I had this sudden urge to sneeze.”

“Ah,” Haku giggled as he stood up, he needed to get with the girls for morning training, “Someone must have been talking about you.”

 

After answering everyone’s questions Kaitsu un-paused the tape and it picked up at the beginning of the test. They sat there in stunned silence as the team worked out the meaning of the note, the Third looked over at certain clan heads as they watched the tape seeing the undisguised pride on at least two of the faces. Turning back he noticed the group take off running out of the testing room several minutes early.

After watching a very impressive display the Hokage watched the end of the tape where Kakashi and Kurenai spoke up.

 

“Hokage-sama, from what I have seen and been told so far,” Kakashi leaned forward, “the Whirlpool Chuunin exam is a level above what we had planned to put the candidates through.”

Kurenai nodded as she glared from the television set, “Under no circumstances should Ibiki be allowed to know what happened in the first exam, if he would find out what happened the man would change his style to the point we would never have any Genin graduate to Chuunin.”

 

As the television was turned off the third openly chuckled as he nodded, “He would indeed find himself drooling and taking copious notes from watching this video, it is a good think you are not allowed to leave it Dragon-sama.”

 

Later that afternoon after looking at the stretch of desert from the forest edge Sasuke jumped back in horror as he saw the trees full of cow sized lizards and the things they were doing,  “HOLY MOTHER OF GOD…” seeing the looks on his teammates faces he yelled the only thing he could think of, “RETREAT….”

Half a mile further into the forest the team collapsed near a hollowed out group of gnarled roots. Hinata was still in a daze as she looked over at Shino who had taken off his coat, taking a sip of water she looked around not mothering to remember to be shy, “Were…were those lizards doing…”

Rubbing his eyes on horror Kiba yelped out, “No…No…No, please don’t repeat that. It was horrible I tell you…The things those lizards were doing…AHHHHH.”

Shino nodded as he looked at his teammates, “I did not know some of those sexual positions were even possible.”

Sasuke blushed as he shook his head, “I…I…give me a bandit any day, not this section of hell.”

“Indeed, I would have harsh words with Naruto once we made it back to camp, if not for the fact he did warn us we would be entering hell on earth,” Shino sighed as he shuddered from the horror he had seen.

Wiping the sweat off her forehead Hinata looked down and whispered out loud, “I never thought I liked naughty things like that.” Clapping her hand over her mouth she looked horrified as her head snapped up to see the shocked looks on her teams faces, she said that out loud.

Giving the girl a strange look Sasuke got to his feet, “I think this rates as an emergency,” throwing a look over his shoulder towards the edge of the forest he shivered. “Everyone pop a soldier pill and grab a ration bar and let’s get out of here.”

The group of four literally ran through the trees leaving a blur behind them, four hours later they dropped to the ground exhausted with the mountains in sight finally.

Panting Sasuke lifted his head, “H…Hina…Hinata, do you see anything close by.”

Pushing off the ground Hinata had to resort to using seal to activate your eyes, she was that tired and exhausted. “Um…Nothing…close by,” closing her eyes she fell backwards to the ground.

“Go…Good,” Sasuke still panting untied his canteen so he could wet his dry mouth, “We’ll stay here a couple of hours before moving on.”

Half an hour later and draining two canteens of water Sasuke froze as he heard a sound not far off, it sounded like something crashing to the ground. Looking at his tired teammates he stumbled to his feet and Kunai in hand went over to the bushes, slowly parting them he saw another one of the teams falling to the ground. Rushing through the branches he reached their side and quickly checked all three for a pulse. Finding one he let out s sigh of relief before he noticed one of the teens was covered in a whitish substance, sniffing the air he recognized that salty smell. Moving back to the bushes he stopped before moving back and arranging the exhausted teens so they would be comfortable and easily defended. Taking one of the canteens from off one of them he dribbled water into each of their mouths, emptying the canteen between them.

Satisfied he had done all he could for now and that it had only taken a few minutes he rushed back through the bushes before the proctors who had to be watching them decided he had taken too much time, after all they would need to be checked again shortly. Making his way back to camp he noticed Shino had sat up and was keeping watch, “Another team collapsed not too far from our campsite, they don’t look injured, but then again I’m not a medic-nin. And the one was covered is a salty…”trailing off as his mind finally told him what the smell was, and where he had seen the liquid before through a very vivid memory. “NO SHIT…” craning his head around back to where he had left the other team his eyes were wide in wonder. “We are so lucky to get away from those lizards.”

Without moving the rest of his body Kiba dug his hand into his pouch and pulled out a few white pills, “Maybe we should give them a soldier pill, if it worked for you Sasuke it should work for them.”

“Um…Well,” Hinata pushed herself upright, “the thing is…if they are to drained and unconscious how are they going to swallow them.”

“Crush them up and put it in the water,” Sasuke pulled his sealing scroll out, there had been some small cup like packages in eh first aid stuff they could use. “I was able to get them to drink some water pretty easily, so if we crushed them up and mixed them into water we could let them drink it. Then we can leave them the rest of our cooked rabbit to eat, we can hunt again later.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Shino pulled his canteen out after grabbing the three pills from Kiba. Crushing them into fine powder he mixed water into them in the small containers before looking at Sasuke, “how many minutes do you think you spent with them before returning?”

Thinking about Sasuke picked up one of the cups, “It couldn’t have been more than five minutes, so we should have around ten minutes to make sure this works. If at the end of that time one of them doesn’t start to rouse we’ll have no choice but to fire off their flare.”

Following Sasuke through the bushes and being careful not to spill the contents of the cups Shino nodded, “That sounds agreeable. And if need be I will stay until the rescue team arrives, that way only one of us will be disqualified since we have a four man team.”

Shaking his head Sasuke entered the clearing and went to the closest teen, lifting his head he started to dribble the liquid into his mouth, “I don’t think it works that way Shino. We were made a team, four people or not. We can always move out of the clearing and patrol until the rescue team meets up and tell them what we did without entering the clearing and being disqualified.”

“Agreed,” Shino looked at the teen he was tending and the sticky substance that was covering him, “Do you think this substance is poisonous?”

Giggling Sasuke shook his head, “Only if you swallow wrong…”

Throwing his dark haired teammate a questioning look as he finished pouring the restorative into the teen’s mouth, Shino moved on to the last teen as Sasuke pulled the last of the meat out of his scroll and set it up next to three canteens of water.

Hearing stirring come from behind him Sasuke felt relief, breaking off a small piece of the rabbit jerky he moved over and helped the disoriented Genin up, “Here, eat this. We had to use a soldier pill on each of you to wake you up, and we left quite a bit of jerked rabbit and three canteens of water for you. So remember to eat as soon as you can.” Looking into the eyes of the teen he nodded, he was awake enough just not functioning yet. “Remember to eat as soon as you can.”

Smiling as the teen took the meat, chewing it as fast as he could Sasuke nodded to Shino, “We’re still under our time limit and they look like they are going to recover.” Seeing the other two teens stirring he looked at the first who was watching him with clear eyes, “We will be in the next clearing for another hour, if you need further aide shout for us or use your flare.”

Waiting until the teen waved his thanks Shino and Sasuke rushed out of the clearing hoping they had not gone over the time limit. Making their way back to camp he looked at Hinata and Kiba who looked a little livelier, “I’ve been thinking we might be going about this the wrong way. We still have two days left until the end of the exam; if we finish as soon as possible we can rest up back in the base camp or Whirlpool, not here in the wilds. It would be easier to work on your Jutsu’s in a safe environment. But I’ll leave it up to all of you which way we go.”

“Safe,” Kiba answered quickly, “I’m all for doing things away from oversexed lizards and giant ants, and let’s not forget the man eating flowers.” Kiba’s voice had climbed higher as he finished.

“I…I agree,” Hinata looked up, “it would be easier to practice without worrying about the next attack or cuddly creatures morphing into monsters.”

“We can safely take one more soldier pill if we finish off the ration bars; we can divide the last three bars into four pieces.” Shino looked at the mountains and the green smoke in the distance, “We should be able to get to the pickup point and food in three hours if we leave now.”

Nodding his agreement Sasuke went back into the bushes and yelled out, “ARE ALL OF YOU OKAY NOW, IS IT SAFE FOR US TO LEAVE YOU.”

“GO ON…AND THANKS…”

Taking one of the small pills out of the bottle Sasuke gratefully accepted the piece of ration bar as he slipped the pill in his mouth and swallowed. Quickly munching down the bar with obvious distaste he washed it down with the rest of his water before looking at his teammates and smiling, “Shall we.”

 

Accepting the tape back from Kaitsu Naruto smiled as the Dragon guardian removed his helm, “Those things are so cool. Chakra reflective crystal makes those masks a work of art,” looking up at the grinning Kunoichi he tilted his head, “So, how did they take it?”

“Very well Uzumaki-sama,” Kaitsu took the offered seat, “The Hokage has accepted that if his Genin’s pass our test they will honor the promotion. He was mostly guarded and not forthcoming with much, on the other hand the clan leaders were very amusing to watch. Their expressions were comical,” Pulling a scroll out of her pocket she passed it over. “As I was leaving Aburame Shibi slipped me this scroll to deliver to you.”

“Thank you Kaitsu for a job well done, I think I’ll keep them guessing by sending Roka tomorrow,” Naruto chuckled as he put the scroll on his desk to read later, “Was there anything else I need to know about?”

“No Uzumaki-sama,” Kaitsu stood and bowed her head slightly.

“Alight then, enjoy the rest of your day,” Naruto waved before looking back at the scroll, wondering what was so important that Shibi would endanger himself this way.

 

Dropping to the ground in front of the group of Proctors Kiba huffed a few times before looking up from all fours, “Are we the first in?”

Chuckling the proctor got up from near the fire to look closer, “Afraid not, but you are second in, you missed the other group by ten minutes.”

Chuckling Sasuke looked back over his shoulder, “We ran into another team three hours hard run back that way,” he pointed over his shoulder, “Or I should say they practically dropped in our clearing in exhaustion. We did our best for them and they seemed to be okay, but I thought you should know.”

“What now?” Shino hobbled over to the fire, his muscles protesting any movement.

Pretty sure this group had overdone it on soldier pills the proctor nodded, “Now we send you to the dorms, there is a small hot spring there you can use to relax your abused muscles. And plenty of food to eat, I suppose the next two days are yours to relax and recuperate while the rest of the teams make their way in.”

Looking at his teammates Sasuke grinned and nodded, “Thank you, I guess it is time for us to go, we could use a long hot shower.”